In the last of these blogs through Rachel Jones' book, she takes us to the book of Ecclesiastes: “Most of us aren’t long out of education before we know what it’s like to lose heart in the cycle of the daily grind: eat, sleep, work, repeat”.

One of the most important questions is: Why are we here?  What makes my life worthwhile or meaningful?  Without God, then we are just "blobs of carbon floating from one meaningless existence to another" - likewise the Teacher of Ecclesiastes laments that life "under the sun" (living without God in the picture) is "meaningless". 

Rachel reflects on how, faced with our meaningless, our culture today tries to avoid reflecting on these questions:

“Most of us don’t ask ourselves the uncomfortable Why? question very often, because humans are experts at keeping themselves busy…. Our media-soaked age gives us a constant supply of content to fill our hungry eyes and ears.  We’re always looking to entertain ourselves as we mindlessly click on to the next article on the news app, or the next song on our playlist, or the next level on the game on our phone.  Even if we’re not entertained, at least we’re distracted from the pitiable meaninglessness of the whole charade.  The Teacher gives these distraction tactics a go too.  He embarks on a search for meaning: fun times with friends, big nights out…. Countless Tinder hook-ups…. Buying his ‘forever home’… decorating his forever home from his backpacking trip around South-east Asia… climbing the career ladder… negotiating a pay rise… finding fame in his field… But in the end, nothing can distract him enough…. All of his achievements get the same damning verdict… What’s the point?

We are caught between two realities: the fact that death makes our lives in this world ultimately meaningless, and the fact that within us there is a longing for a meaningful life:

“Death makes life meaningless… because there’s nothing we can hold on to.  Death unravels all our hard work.  Even the things that seem to mean the most – those relationships we treasure, will ultimately be undone by death.  Life is meaningless.  And yet… all of us find this so hard to accept.  We long for our lives to mean something.  To paraphrase Beyoncé, I want to do something or leave something that means I leave my footprints on the sand of time – that proves I was here, and that my time on Planet Earth made a difference somehow… There’s something deep within us that refuses to settle for the notion that our existence is insignificant…  but in order to find the meaning we crave, we need to find a solution to the problem of the grave”

Rachel pivots to consider how the answer to meaninglessness in death is the gospel: "Whereas the Teacher in Ecclesiastes despaired in the face of death, Jesus is far more than a teacher – he is a Saviour, who calls us to follow him through death"

Jesus says: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul.  Our what can anyone give in exchange for their soul” (Matthew 16:24-26)

 This is a difficult passage, but Rachel helpfully explains:

“So often my longing for meaning is really a longing for me to mean something.  I want me to be important.  I want my life to be significant.  So I cling to it, build it, protect it, desperately hoping that somehow it will reach the status of worthwhile.  Yet Jesus says I need to lose my life.  That means we have to stop trying to carve out a meaningful existence for ourselves by building our reputation or amassing wealth – or even by doing good or bringing happiness to others.  We have to repent of putting ourselves at the centre of our own universe and put Jesus there instead… Although the cost is high, the rewards are massive.  Lose your life like this, and Jesus guarantees that you will find it.  … Death makes life meaningless.  But dying to self makes life meaningful...The way that we die to self day by day is by recognising that every detail of our lives has been given to us by God and is to be invested for his glory, not our own….

She finishes by reminding us that Jesus is the Lord of all creation and that the gospel sanctifies all areas of life, meaning the whole world is the arena in which we can meaningfully live, work and play for the glory of God:

It’s not just church stuff which is meaningful either.  Everything: work, rest, and play – is made meaningful when we do it for the glory of God.  Of course it doesn’t always feel like that.  You may not always be able to see meaning as you cycle through the daily grind of eat, sleep, work, repeat.  But that’s ok.  God sees, and God knows.  And one day, once he’s welcomed you home as his good and faithful servant, you’ll be able to see how he wove each little and large investment of gold he’d given you into his great plan – how he used what you did to build his eternity.  In a world in which everything else proves meaningless, that’s meaning enough for me”

Chapter 8 is very moving to read as Rachel bears her soul.  She begins confessing: “My sister is getting married in eleven days time…. Yet the truth is: I want it to be me.  Don’t get me wrong – I love my sister and I’m very much looking forward to celebrating with her… Of all the weddings I’ve been to, this one will take me closest to seeing what the look on my father’s face would be if he ever walks me down the aisle.  And all the while I’ll be knowing it isn’t me; and all the while I’ll be suspecting that it will never be”

She tells us who she's writing this chapter for - and basically we can all learn something from it:

“It’s for you if you’re single – whether it turns out to be just for now or for a lifetime (And maybe you know that it will almost certainly be a lifetime, because you’re same-sex attracted and can’t assume that marriage will ever be an option for you).  But this chapter is also for you if you’re dating, engaged or married.  For one thing, you may well end up single again one day.  And for another, whatever your relationship status, you’ll definitely have single friends who need you to speak helpful truths to them, rather than thoughtless remarks, hurtful banter, or useless platitudes”

She puts into words the pain felt by many people when this subject is raised:

“You might already have read and heard a lot on singleness before.  You’ve heard about the gift of singleness – and rolled your eyes at all the joke about it being the gift everyone wants to return.  You’ve spoken to people who talk about being content with their singleness – but can’t imagine that ever being you.  You’ve thrown yourself into church or work or sports or whatever – but it hasn’t helped with your loneliness.  You know all the right answers – but answers don’t give you the human touch that you crave”

She adapts the psychological “Five stages of grief” to put into words the experience of many Christians coming to terms with “unwanted singleness”:

• DENIAL: “This cannot possibly be it. I’ll find someone one day.  I’m only ___ years old.  I’ve got loads of time”
• ANGER: “Why would God withhold this from me? It’s not fair.  I would be a much better boy/girlfriend than him/her”
• BARGAINING: “God, what do you want from me? I’ve been serving loads in church, and reading my bible… Maybe if I was more ____, then that person would like me”
• DEPRESSION: “No one wants me. I’ll always be alone”
• ACCEPTANCE: “Maybe I won’t ever get maybe. And maybe that’s OK.  And maybe it’s even OK that it’s OK”

Much of the chapter is a reflection on Lamentations 3:22-24: “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him”

Rachel draws two helpful lessons from this passage:

"First, if right now you’re feeling unloved, unchosen, undesirable, know that God loves you greatly.  He chose you to be part of his people and he wanted that enough to send his Son to save you from being consumed by the anger you’re due.  Secondly, the Lord’s compassions are new every morning.  That means that right now, you don’t need to be ok with being single in 50 years time… Contentment with our singleness isn’t a status that we arrive at and then bask in for the rest of our lives.  It’s something we depend on the Lord to give us each day… So here’s the key question: is there a way to be OK with being single today?  … Because if you can be OK being single today, you can be Ok being single tomorrow when it becomes today, and the day after that, and all the days that follow.  Why?  Because God’s compassions are new every morning – he will be tomorrow all that you need him to be…. God will prove himself faithful – day after day after day.

Then she reminds us of how Jesus practically meets the needs and longings of our heart for intimacy, through incorporating us into the church:

“It’s only in Jesus that we will have our deepest aches and longings fulfilled completely.  And all that’s great… in theory.  But it doesn’t help you with your lust or your loneliness…. As one friend with rodent problem in her house told me: ‘I get that Jesus is everything, but He’s not here physically – it’s a physical relationship that I crave more than anything else.  Plus, Jesus can’t empty my mouse traps’. … Church is meant to be family – it’s the place where we find brothers and sisters and parents and children and home…. You’re part of the family of God … If you need someone to empty your mousetraps, you should be able to find that person in the church (Or buy a pair of gloves…) There ought to be no lonely people in God’s family”

She also reframes the issue of our relationship status and gives us the bigger horizon of the gospel from which to view things:

“Is there a way to be OK with being single today?  Well there is.  And yet the truth is contentment with our singleness isn’t really the aim.  I don’t need to seek to be more content with my singleness – not today, not on my sister’s wedding day, not ever, really.  Instead, I need to be more convinced that ‘this world in its present form is passing away’ (1 Corinthians 7:31).  I need to be so consumed with this coming reality that whether I’m single or married just doesn’t matter that much.  I need to lift my eyes to a different horizon – beyond the what-ifs and if-onlys of the next few decades – to the awesome certainty that is thundering towards me.  Because even the best Christian marriage is only ever a picture of what lies ahead for every Christian… It points to a time when the bride of Christ, the church, is brought to meet her groom and enjoy a truly permanent relationship of love and intimacy with him… On that wedding day in heaven, no Christian will feel like they’ve missed out or have been left out”

Here's the beautiful ending to the chapter, as she shares how she will tackle the experience of attending her sister's wedding:

“In eleven days’ time I’ll wake up early.  I’ll read the Bible.  I’ll remind myself just how much God loves me and how much Christ gave up for me and gave to me.  I’ll remember that God has especially chosen me to be part of his bride – not because I’m desirable, but just because he loves me.  And then I’ll talk to Him.  I’ll think over the day in front of me, and I’ll ask God to use one person I talk to to encourage me that day.  And I’ll ask him to use me to encourage one person as well – for an opportunity to speak the name of Jesus with a huge smile on my face.  And you know what?  I’m pretty sure he’ll answer!”

Chapter 8 is very moving to read as Rachel bears her soul.  She begins confessing: “My sister is getting married in eleven days time…. Yet the truth is: I want it to be me.  Don’t get me wrong – I love my sister and I’m very much looking forward to celebrating with her… Of all the weddings I’ve been to, this one will take me closest to seeing what the look on my father’s face would be if he ever walks me down the aisle.  And all the while I’ll be knowing it isn’t me; and all the while I’ll be suspecting that it will never be”

She tells us who she's writing this chapter for - and basically we can all learn something from it:

“It’s for you if you’re single – whether it turns out to be just for now or for a lifetime (And maybe you know that it will almost certainly be a lifetime, because you’re same-sex attracted and can’t assume that marriage will ever be an option for you).  But this chapter is also for you if you’re dating, engaged or married.  For one thing, you may well end up single again one day.  And for another, whatever your relationship status, you’ll definitely have single friends who need you to speak helpful truths to them, rather than thoughtless remarks, hurtful banter, or useless platitudes”

She puts into words the pain felt by many people when this subject is raised:

“You might already have read and heard a lot on singleness before.  You’ve heard about the gift of singleness – and rolled your eyes at all the joke about it being the gift everyone wants to return.  You’ve spoken to people who talk about being content with their singleness – but can’t imagine that ever being you.  You’ve thrown yourself into church or work or sports or whatever – but it hasn’t helped with your loneliness.  You know all the right answers – but answers don’t give you the human touch that you crave”

She adapts the psychological “Five stages of grief” to put into words the experience of many Christians coming to terms with “unwanted singleness”:

• DENIAL: “This cannot possibly be it. I’ll find someone one day.  I’m only ___ years old.  I’ve got loads of time”
• ANGER: “Why would God withhold this from me? It’s not fair.  I would be a much better boy/girlfriend than him/her”
• BARGAINING: “God, what do you want from me? I’ve been serving loads in church, and reading my bible… Maybe if I was more ____, then that person would like me”
• DEPRESSION: “No one wants me. I’ll always be alone”
• ACCEPTANCE: “Maybe I won’t ever get maybe. And maybe that’s OK.  And maybe it’s even OK that it’s OK”

Much of the chapter is a reflection on Lamentations 3:22-24: “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him”

Rachel draws two helpful lessons from this passage:

"First, if right now you’re feeling unloved, unchosen, undesirable, know that God loves you greatly.  He chose you to be part of his people and he wanted that enough to send his Son to save you from being consumed by the anger you’re due.  Secondly, the Lord’s compassions are new every morning.  That means that right now, you don’t need to be ok with being single in 50 years time… Contentment with our singleness isn’t a status that we arrive at and then bask in for the rest of our lives.  It’s something we depend on the Lord to give us each day… So here’s the key question: is there a way to be OK with being single today?  … Because if you can be OK being single today, you can be Ok being single tomorrow when it becomes today, and the day after that, and all the days that follow.  Why?  Because God’s compassions are new every morning – he will be tomorrow all that you need him to be…. God will prove himself faithful – day after day after day.

Then she reminds us of how Jesus practically meets the needs and longings of our heart for intimacy, through incorporating us into the church:

“It’s only in Jesus that we will have our deepest aches and longings fulfilled completely.  And all that’s great… in theory.  But it doesn’t help you with your lust or your loneliness…. As one friend with rodent problem in her house told me: ‘I get that Jesus is everything, but He’s not here physically – it’s a physical relationship that I crave more than anything else.  Plus, Jesus can’t empty my mouse traps’. … Church is meant to be family – it’s the place where we find brothers and sisters and parents and children and home…. You’re part of the family of God … If you need someone to empty your mousetraps, you should be able to find that person in the church (Or buy a pair of gloves…) There ought to be no lonely people in God’s family”

She also reframes the issue of our relationship status and gives us the bigger horizon of the gospel from which to view things:

“Is there a way to be OK with being single today?  Well there is.  And yet the truth is contentment with our singleness isn’t really the aim.  I don’t need to seek to be more content with my singleness – not today, not on my sister’s wedding day, not ever, really.  Instead, I need to be more convinced that ‘this world in its present form is passing away’ (1 Corinthians 7:31).  I need to be so consumed with this coming reality that whether I’m single or married just doesn’t matter that much.  I need to lift my eyes to a different horizon – beyond the what-ifs and if-onlys of the next few decades – to the awesome certainty that is thundering towards me.  Because even the best Christian marriage is only ever a picture of what lies ahead for every Christian… It points to a time when the bride of Christ, the church, is brought to meet her groom and enjoy a truly permanent relationship of love and intimacy with him… On that wedding day in heaven, no Christian will feel like they’ve missed out or have been left out”

Here's the beautiful ending to the chapter, as she shares how she will tackle the experience of attending her sister's wedding:

“In eleven days’ time I’ll wake up early.  I’ll read the Bible.  I’ll remind myself just how much God loves me and how much Christ gave up for me and gave to me.  I’ll remember that God has especially chosen me to be part of his bride – not because I’m desirable, but just because he loves me.  And then I’ll talk to Him.  I’ll think over the day in front of me, and I’ll ask God to use one person I talk to to encourage me that day.  And I’ll ask him to use me to encourage one person as well – for an opportunity to speak the name of Jesus with a huge smile on my face.  And you know what?  I’m pretty sure he’ll answer!”

In chapter 7, Rachel touches on the raw nerve that is our experience of friendships - or for some of us, our felt lack thereof.  She is very candid in admitting this is one of her greatest "psychological hang-ups".  Like her, I don't think I'm very good when it comes to friendship!  Like her, I had a series of significant moves as a child which severed important friendships.  Like her, I have lost contact with most of my university friends after they moved on and life got busier.  However, just as God has always enjoyed the personal communion within the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit; likewise, human beings made in His image have been made for community.  Although friendship and community can be messy in this fallen world, one Christian counsellor entitled their book: "Relationships: A Mess Worth Making".

She begins with an important warning for this generation:

“The University of Pittsburgh found that people who use social media a lot experience more social isolation than those who use it fewer than ten times a week… Few things fuel my loneliness more than looking on social media at people I used to know with their other friends”

Much of the chapter is a meditation on Psalm 139 which tells us:

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

She comments: “I think I’m searching for THE ONE [A BEST FRIEND] but this psalm brings me face to face with the One I’m actually looking for.  What we long for in a friend is most fulfilled when we find and truly experience relationship with God – a relationship that is deeper and more real than we have with anyone who we’d put in the category of friend.  That’s because the Lord is a God who knows you.  Often at the heart of loneliness is a desire to be known, wholly, and completely… No one knows the whole 360 degrees of my existence.  Except, that is, God…. But in God we find what no friend would ever be- someone who is with us and fro us, in spite of knowing us completely.  He looks at our darker parts and loves us anyway, instead of walking away in disappointment or disgust… God sticks with us through thick and thin.  It’s impossible to go long-distance with God…. God is there in those moments when we feel sublimely close to him.  But he’s equally there when we deliberately pull away from him… He’s there even when our circumstances are so bleak that we’ve lost all hope”

She continues by drawing six pieces of "no nonsense practical advice" for growing in the realm of friendship:

1. Quality, not quantity: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24)
2. Invest where you are: “Do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you – better a neighbour nearby than a relative far away” (Proverbs 27:10) “You don’t just need Christian friends … you need Christian friends at your church, who you see once a week or more. They don’t need to be like you – a similar age or stage or background – they just have to be neighbours: they just have to be nearby”
3. Love at all times: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17) “
4. Forgive freely: “Whoever would foster love covers over an offence, but whoever repeats the matter separates friends” (Proverbs 17:9) “What you did or said hurt me, but I’m going to bear the emotional cost and choose to keep loving you. I’m not going to gossip about you or complain about you to other people”
5. Speak grace: “One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend” (Proverbs 22:11) “Filling our conversations with words that are true, kind, gentle, joyful, grateful and loving”
6. Be vulnerable: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice” (Proverbs 27:9) “Just say something honest about yourself: I’m feeling… I’m struggling with….”

Half way through the book, Rachel turns to address a neglected issue: doubt.  There are times in all our spiritual journeys when we begin to question: Is this real?  Doubt is inescapable because part of the fallen human condition makes us sceptical and hostile towards God and His truth; our understanding is always limited by our finite human capacities; our sinful desires sometimes mean that consciously or unconsciously we would rather doubt than believe; our society confidently asserts that the only reality is the here/now world that we can access with our senses, so the idea of living by faith in an unseen reality is constantly undermined.  So doubt is a complex fact for us all to grapple with.  Rachel points out that we have to confront it: “Doubt is not an unimportant issue that can be swept under the rug, because at the heart of the Christian faith is not something you do, but something you believe.  Jesus is clear that we do have to have faith in him in order to have eternal life.”

Rachel grasps the nettle with both hands early on in the chapter:

“So how can you tell if you’re a genuine Christian?  Well, do you want to be one?  Is there something you in (the Spiit{ that makes you want to speak to God as your Father?  That’s a strong start.  Think back over the years you’ve been following Jesus – has your life changed?  Do you dislike sin, even if you still fall into it?  Do you ask God for forgiveness?  Do you wish that you loved others better?  If the answer to those questions is a hesitant ‘yes’ then let this truth reassure you: God has called you and he will not let you go…. Despite my wobbly faith and my faltering feelings, Jesus has got me and will not let me go.

She goes on to explore how doubts are arrows in Satan's arsenal as he wages war against our souls:

"Our doubts are not morally neutral.  Ever since the Garden of Eden, Satan has been tempting God’s people to disobey him by doubting his word… When we doubt, these are the lies the loves to whisper:

1. No other Christian feels like this
2. You can’t talk to God about this
3. There’s no answer to this
4. Best to hit pause on your faith for a while: “The way to keep following Jesus is to keep following Jesus – to put one foot in front of the other, day by day. Keep going to church, keep reading the Bible, keep seeking to speak of Jesus to others.  You’ll get through this."

She finishes the chapter retelling her experience of serving on a jury in a criminal trial.  She recounts how after they reached their decision that the offender was guilty, she began to second guess and doubt herself: What if they had made a mistake.  All those doubts faded away when the verdict was read out in court and the offender shrugged his shoulders - he was caught and he knew it.  Applying this to our present experience wrestling with uncertainty, she concludes:

“We’re living now in those moments before the verdict is delivered.  We’ve committed to the verdict that Jesus is Lord on the basis of good evidence – but sometimes we’re plagued with uncertainty.  What if we’ve got it wrong?   But don’t worry.  One day, when we come before the judge of the universe, doubt will become confidence.  Everything that seems in question now will become blindingly obvious.  All the uncertainty will disappear and clarity will descend.  Of course God is real.  Except that on that day you won’t be in the jury; you’ll be the accused…. The evidence of your sin will be stacked up against you – but Jesus will rise as your defence counsel and declare: They’re one of mine.  I’ve already paid for the crime.  Look at the evidence of the nail marks in my hands”

Rachel begins by telling the story of someone at a BBQ showing off a countdown clock on their phone – they had only another 368 months until retirement.  She reflects on the strangeness that someone is in effect wishing away the next 30 years of their life. Although work is a glorious part of God’s good Creation and a vital part of our being in the Image of God, there is no doubt that it has been corrupted and frustrated by the Fall. 

Some 92000 hours of our lives will be spent working, so drawing on Colossians 3, she suggests 6 tips for a happier working life:

• Do what you’re told: “obey your masters in everything” (Colossians 3:22) – authority structures whether in a nation, or a church or a company, are a good thing in principle – even if in practice they are sometimes twisted to do great harm… unless or until obedience to your earthly master comes at the cost of your heavenly master, just do what you’re told.

• Be sincere: “obey your earthly masters… not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favour, but with sincerity of heart” (Colossians 3:22) – to be the same person on the inside as the outside – we will work in the same way when our boss is in the room as we do when they are out of it. So when you’re tempted to gossip or moan about someone at work – don’t.  When you find yourself rehearsing a long internal monologue of what you would like to say to your boss, don’t.  Remember that one of the best ways to grow in genuine love for people is to pray for them

• Fear God, not people: “and with reverence for the Lord” (Colossians 3:22) – with awe and respect that comes from knowing that he’s the one in control of the universe and that ultimately it’s his opinion that matters. If we fear God, not people, we won’t work crazy long hours in an attempt to prove ourselves; we won’t tell white lies to cover our tracks; we won’t cave when we’re under pressure to do something sinful; we’ll be bold in sharing the gospel

• Try hard: “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters” (Colossians 3:23) – Don’t do the bare minimum. Don’t cut corners.  Actively look for ways to do your job better or make your organisation operate more effectively.  Do everything you can to make your working environment  a better place for others

• Work for a bonus that lasts: “You know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:24) – Reality check: we earn more than 97% of other people on the planet… and more than that, I need to remember that God has something better in store… being God’s chosen heir beats being employee of the month

• Remember justice is coming: “Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favouritism” (Colossians 3:25) – Life is not fair. And while there is a place for taking grievances through official channels – especially where people have acted against us or against others in a way that is harmful or illegal – we’ll sometimes find that justice is not done in the way that we want it to be.  When that happens, we can take comfort in the fact that a day of perfect justice is coming.  Your grievance may have been overlooked or brushed aside, but God saw it, and he cares about it.  He promises that those who have wronged you will be repaid for their wrongs…. Don’t carry around grudges and bitterness.  These will only eat you up inside and make you more miserable.

The chapter concludes:

“I don’t know how much your boss values you; but I know how much your Lord does…. Ultimately this is what matters.  If you’re a Christian, your employment status does not define you… Whether your job title is slave or master, intern or sales assistant, or doctor, or , or slave, call centre worker or structural engineer – in God’s eyes you are the Lord’s freed person.  This is what gives us hope, even joy, on Monday mornings.  However much you feel like you’re floundering and however toxic the environment in your workplace is, you can walk in there with your head held high – and having worked hard and with integrity, you can leave again eight/ten/twelve hours later with your head held high still.  You are the Lord’s freed person”

Here's some great insights from Rachel Jones' chapter 4 for those of us who find ourselves saying often: "Where has the last year gone?" - not helped by Facebook telling us each morning "On this day 5 years ago..." or Buzzfeed putting up articles "You know you were born in the 1980s if you recognise...". 

“The word nostalgia comes from two Greek words which nicely capture the pull of this emotion: nostos, meaning ‘to return home,’ and algos, meaning ‘pain’… on the one hand there’s warmth and fondness as we remember good times and happy season.  But at the same time, there’s a sadness that comes from knowing that those moments now exist only in our memory, and we’ll never get them back again

Rachel perceives that underneath our reminiscing on the past, there are heart issues - specifically we struggle to relate well to the past, present and future:

“Nostalgia says: I wish I could relive that time in my life.  Regret says: I wish I could undo that time in my life.  But the truth is, we can’t do either”

"Sometimes our obsession with the past masks an uneasy relationship with our present and a fear about our future”

These experiences and emotions are not foreign to the Bible.  Instead, as we spend the first 6 months of this year in the post-exilic minor prophets, we are witnessing how God's people having returned to the Promised Land struggle with feeling of regret and nostaglia:

"As the old guard of Israelites stood in front of Zerubbabel’s half-built temple and remembered days gone by, they wished they could relive them, and they wished they could undo then.  Of course, just like us, they couldn’t do either. But God didn’t leave them there, stuck in a muddle of nostalgia and regret.  He gave them words of comfort, hope and renewed purpose.  He sent two prophets, Zechariah and Haggai… and both of them can help us have a better attitude to the past too."

Rachel draws a few helpful points from the ministry of these prophets:

• SMALL CAN BE BEAUTIFUL: "Who dares despise the day of small things, since even the eyes of the LORD that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel" (Zechariah 4:8-10).  "The problem with pining for the past is that we risk missing what God’s doing in the present… Perhaps you feel like you’re living in a day of small things too, and you wish you could go back to a time when things were bigger…. Small spiritually …. Small relationally… small physically…. While admitting what is small now, we need to be careful not to despite it – to do it down or wish it away or resent it.  God is still at work in the day of small things….. Here’s the brilliant truth: we don’t have to do big things to impress God.  He’s not so high and mighty that he’s above our small things – instead he works through them.  And it makes God happy when we faithfully stick at his work, no matter how limp it looks in comparison to what’s gone before… If God is rejoicing, there’s no room or reason for you to be resentful”

• GET ON BOARD: "Be strong, all you people of the land and work.  For I am with you" (Haggai 2:3).  "God doesn’t just challenge how we think about the past and the present; through Haggai, he tells us that he transforms what we do in the present too…. So stop living in the past, and look for the people you can love and the good works you can do in the present.  Be strong and work”

• THE BEST IS NOT BEHIND YOU, IT IS IN FRONT OF YOU: "In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth" (Haggai 2:6) “I don’t know what it is that’s not working in your life right now – the things which make you want to go back to a happier, easier era.  I don’t know what you wish you could go back in time to change.  But I do know that whatever’s behind you, if you’re a Christian – if you’ve been washed clean in the blood of the Lamb – then this is the future that awaits you on the other side of the grave.  It’s a future where you will enjoy being sheltered by God’s presence, completely safe and free from fear.  A future without any material or physical need… A future where the painful memories and fraught ‘if onlys’ all fade as God himself wipes away your tears of regret.  This is a time worth longing for.  And it lies ahead of you, not behind.”